entre les trous de la mémoire

I could sing of His Love forever. That's right!

I preached (kind of) for the very first time tonight. It didn't go as smoothly as I would like it to. Went blank and stumbled over my second language a couple of times. BUT, nonetheless, I did it. To me, it was a huge deal. Public speaking has been one of my biggest fears, and especially preaching, I'd never thought I would deliver a message someday. Now I have had my breakthrough, I know He will continue to give me the courage and strength that I need to reach higher goals. And it doesn't matter if I just take baby steps.

When I read "You have never disappointed me..." on the bus the other day, all at a sudden I felt an heavenly arm wrapping around me, and it was SUCH a great relief! I felt like I had never fully understood before. It was hard to not tear up at that moment. It was the best realization ever.

My character has been rapidly shaped recently. It's an interesting feeling. I feel like I'm becoming more real, more direct with people and as well as the way I communicate with God. Breaking out of an eggshell, is a fitting analogy to describe my current stage.

I've been trying real hard to burn the "list" I have kept. And I'm so amazed how unbelievably well this process is going. It's so hard to imagine that Jesus lives in us, like literally. God is able, and He has enabled me in so many unexpected good ways. I can't believe how determined I am when dealing with things now. I'm grateful for the people He's brought into my life, His way of using people is incredible. I can hardly wait for His next steps. Growing can be painful but beautiful at the same time. At the end, it will be all rewarding.

Je sais qu'avec Jésus je suis fort. C'est vrai. :)

So, my internship contract ends in two days, which means starting from friday I'll be the "freest" person for at least two weeks, which means I'll be unemployed till whenever I find a suitable position somewhere.

But that's not my point. What I was trying to say was that I finally have some free time of my own, after almost a year, and I'm excited about it! I need a break and some good rest. I will after all have time to study for my first acturary exam, which I've been putting off for the last three months or so. I will also have time for cooking, guitaring and diving into some good reads. There are so many things I want to do during this break, and I can really use some motivations.

I have goals for the break, and to exaggerate a little, I want it to be a turning point of my life. Yes, it's that serious ;)

Ok, what I was REALLY trying to say was, I have time to hang out! Yeah, I know, when I'm finally free, everybody else is busy...shoot! But hey, just in case you have some free time or lucky enough to get a day off or something. Call me up!

you've striked hard but never enough

you've hidden your heart yet exposed the tail

you've repined for treasures only the false ones

you've blown everything to sacrifice for something cherished

why be bitter; why resent

what have I given

the humble expect nothing

O Father, take my troubles away

for I know in your purpose I am worthy

no past

no future

the present, I long to live in